Lots of guys are voted into student government leadership positions because they’re funny and popular, but they have little intention of working hard once they’re there. Meanwhile, people with more substance who would have worked much harder in the job don’t get elected. If you’re the popular guy who won the election, it’s not your fault that enough of the student body voted for superficial humor over substance. But once you have the job, get off your ass and honor the commitment you signed up for.
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Is there anyone you’d rather just sit on a couch and watch some stupid video on your phone or play games with than your friends? Is there anyone you’ve laughed harder with? Is there anyone who understands you better when something is seriously messed up in your life? Guy after guy I’ve talked to for this book agreed with me. But when guys admit how much they value their friends, they have to make fun of it by draping themselves over each other, pretend-hugging, and proclaiming, “I love you, man!” As Hunter says, “I know it’s ridiculous, but we have to lisp when we say something emotional. We’re just way too insecure with ourselves to show our feelings any other way.”
Life is better—way better—with friends. For guys who don’t have close friends (even if it looks like they have tons of friends), it can feel incredibly lonely. But friendships are complicated. Things aren’t always going to go smoothly. And even though conflict is inevitable, even with your closest friends, Guy World doesn’t allow that. Guys are supposed to let everything roll off their backs or throw a few punches and then forget about it For better or worse, there’s no getting around the fact that you live in a world with girls. Even if you go to an all-guys school, at some point you have to study with girls, work with them, argue with them, and compete against them. They can be your friends, people you vaguely know at school, sisters, your enemies, or your girlfriends.
Your high school experience (and your whole life) will go better if girls like you. I don’t mean liking you because they all want to hook up with you, or liking you because you do everything they say or take their side against guys. I mean, if you project internal strength and treat girls with respect, I guarantee the non–drama queen, hot girls will find you attractive By Rainer Wasinger
Unless you’ve been living under a rock or the school system has failed you so bad that someone is reading this to you, you’ve probably heard grim news about American public schools. Longtime Chancellor of New York City Public Schools Joel Klein penned a piece entitled “The Failure of American Schools” and the Huffington Post has an entire category of articles called “Failing Schools.” So, the experts think there’s a problem. I’m not an expert. Additionally, I’d like to add some qualifiers, because no one student’s experience is alike, and for what it’s worth, mine may have been more out of the ordinary than others. First and foremost, I went to public school in a district that was not only decidedly well off and open to spending generously on education, but was also particularly well suited to draw talented teachers. My hometown is often named one of the most educated cities in the United States, earns high quality of life ratings, and my high school is a two minute walk from an excellent research university. Smart people want to live here and smart teachers want to teach here. By Rudolph Robertson, 18
A month into my senior year I was already being inundated with forms and information about graduation. I was still adjusting to being a senior. I was hardly prepared to order a cap and gown, and scarf, and sweatshirt, and mug, and photos, and 800 announcements, and blankets, bags, earbuds, envelope seals, tankards, tiaras and a $500 class ring. I just wanted to order my cap and gown as cheaply as possible and forget it until May (they still email me pretty much biweekly to buy their crap but that’s never gonna happen). But I tried to keep it as simple as possible and dutifully attended the presentation by the company from which we were to buy these items. The rep for this company was a perky, attractive lady of about 38 years old. The delightful slideshow of ... amazing things that we should buy... culminated in a picture of her at her own graduation. Now this wouldn't have been an issue had she not clearly made fun of the other girl in the picture. From the blog of P.M. DeVuono
“Hey Mr. D! Would you ever fight a student?” It was a common question I’d heard over the years. To which, I would always answer, “No.” “You mean you’d let some kid hit you?” they’d ask, voices filled with incredulity. “No, No. You are asking me two different questions. You see, I think of a fight as a contest for dominance which requires self restraint. Getting hit requires self defense.” Now dear reader you may rightly accuse me of semantic hair splitting and you’d be correct. But, sometimes in the classroom, even the bald guy has to split a few hairs to get his point across. There is a difference between a contest for dominance and a life saving battle of self-defense. At this point if Erick was in the room he’d say, “Hey Mr. D., tell that story about that time when you were a kid – you know what I mean.” And I’d have to tell it all again… Though I was slightly repulsed by the overwhelmingly physical nature of the app, I was quite intrigued. So I created an account, added a photo in which I look unusually “likeable,” and got to swiping. At first, I was hesitant to turn someone down because I understood that there was a person on the other side of the screen. After a few disappointing rejections in the opposite direction, I became much more vicious, showing no mercy and silencing the side of my brain that pleaded “She looks like a good person.”
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