 We had a guy write us about apologizes. Here's what he asked and our response. "I'm a 15 year old boy, and I read The Guide and really found it useful, so thank you for that. After reading the section on fake apologies, I wanted to ask your opinion on using, "I'm sorry if you feel that way" as an apology.... "On the one hand, it acknowledges the persons feelings, but on the other, it assumes no responsibility for them. I think when you get a sorry like this, you are entirely within your rights to say something like, "Ok, but saying that can come across like you don't think you did anything wrong. Am I right?"
Here's our advise: When you get a sorry like this, you are entirely within your rights to say something like, "Ok, but saying that can come across like you don't think you did anything wrong. Am I right?" That won't solve the problem--meaning the person will give a more sincere apology but at least they don't get to get away with giving a crappy apology. Because the thing about apologies is precisely what you said--a true apology takes responsibility. What would you have said?
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